My Adoption Story
By modern society’s standards, I truly was a prime candidate for abortion. Fortunately, my story didn’t end there.
Transcript:
Friends, today I want to discuss an extremely heavy and uncharacteristically personal topic.
As a word of warning, if you are sensitive to discussions surrounding pregnancy, miscarriage and/or abortion, please be warned that the following content may be upsetting to you.
My story starts in an unusual fashion, though certainly not an unprecedented one. I was adopted as a newborn after my 15-year-old birth mom decided to give me up for adoption.
Entirely unprepared for parenthood but determined to give me the life she couldn’t, she acted courageously in carrying me to term and putting me up for adoption. I truly cannot fathom such courage. Only a mother could, I imagine.
The circumstances surrounding my birth were difficult, to put it mildly: in addition to my parents’ being in high school, my birth father struggled with major addiction issues and refused custody. He couldn’t get away fast enough.
By modern society’s standards, I truly was a prime candidate for abortion. Fortunately, my story didn’t end there.
Despite the sad circumstances, I was welcomed into this world and embraced. My adoptive parents, who struggled with infertility for years, took me in at just 2 days old — by giving me new life, they gave themselves the joys of parenthood.
Growing up, I never felt rejected or unwanted. Quite the opposite. I was told as early as I can remember about my adoption story, and I always viewed it as a positive, even as a child. My adoptive parents absolutely are my true parents, even though they are only part of my story. It’s odd and paradoxical — but I assure you no less true.
Rather than resentment toward my birth mother, I’ve always felt only gratitude for the gift of life she gave me. By choosing adoption, she acted selflessly to affirm my inherent worth despite uncertainty about her own future. Even without the support of her partner at the time, a man who has chosen to remain hidden my entire life.
So, why am I telling y’all this?
When we debate abortion, we often focus on when moral values or legal rights emerge during human development. We talk about personhood and consciousness, about biological development. But to me, having lived through the adoption process, having been the baby in question, I struggle to see this predominantly as a legal or political discussion.
For me, it’s purely a matter of humanity. It’s about new life and unrealized potential. About hope and redemption. The ability to overcome adversity — to turn even evil into good. Adoption captures all of those sentiments and funnels them into an act of self-giving love (x3 in my case).
All human life has innate worth, regardless of what stage of development that life is in. Even if it’s yet to be realized, human potential is worth protecting.
As a newborn, I contained an immeasurable amount of potential yet to unfold. My adoption allowed that potential to flourish rather than fizzle out. Some choices don’t give second chances, but adoption sure does.
Though my origins were less than ideal, my life had meaning even in the hidden first days — not because of wantedness nor circumstance, but because my humanity itself gave me value. Humans are sacred beings oriented toward growth and possibility. We must cultivate this growth in ourselves and facilitate it for others.
That’s why adoption is so beautiful. It acknowledges the very real difficulties in raising an unplanned child. But it also recognizes that no life is ultimately unwanted — only uncared for. There are always loving homes ready to receive a new baby, if given the chance. Adoption isn’t easy to make happen, but it is beautiful to witness.
Both my birth mother's courage to have me and my parents’ willingness to adopt me were choices that gave me life. I firmly believe that, if more hearts and homes were open to adoption, we could build a society that welcomed and cared for every single child, regardless of their circumstances, as the human being they are — with all the inherent value and dignity that demands.
Look, I know life is full of pain and hardship — believe me, I have suffered my fair share — and I know not everyone is equipped to care for a new child. My heart breaks for the women, men and children in dark places.
But hope is never lost. Where there is darkness, we can become light. By embracing life in all its fragility, I believe we can redeem even the most difficult situations. Let us cling to hope. I promise you redemption is possible. I’ve lived it.
So, regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, and regardless of whether you identify as pro-choice or pro-life, whether you’ve had an abortion or think it’s abhorrent, I encourage you to redouble your support of adoption.
Adoption is the only win-win solution available to mothers in desperate situations, but it’s frequently overlooked for more extreme options. In many related dialogues, it’s absent entirely. This has to stop.
If there is any way to elevate the abortion dialogue and figure out how to work together to achieve progress, it must start and end with a discussion about adoption. I hope this sparks one for you.
As someone who’s been there, as someone who was a prime candidate for abortion, and as someone who personally benefited from adoption, I urge you to rethink this issue.
Let’s work together to find ways to choose to protect all life, even when it seems impossible — let’s work together to make adoption more accessible.
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